Are Regulation Techniques the New Suppression?

In Western culture, there is now a strong focus on learning how to regulate emotions. While these techniques are valuable, it’s important to recognise that they can sometimes inadvertently suppress necessary emotional release.

We were recently supporting a family with a young girl who has Autism and PDA. Understandably, her parents were trying to prevent her meltdowns to avoid distress. However, during a recent storm, she experienced a significant "meltdown" when she couldn’t regulate herself in her usual way by going outside. This intense episode seemed to act as a trauma release, and since then, she has been noticeably happier, more engaged, and more relational with her family.
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​Another client I am working with is in the early stages of sobriety and addiction recovery. While she knows and uses regulation techniques, she has reported times when she was aware that they were suppressing emotions that needed to be released. She found that allowing this charge to release from her body left her feeling more organically regulated and less stifled. She could then use regulation techniques and self-soothing strategies to calm her system afterward.

These recent conversations have reminded me of the importance of discernment in how and when we use regulation techniques. In England, we have a cultural tendency to suppress or repress emotional expression. It could therefore be very easy for us to use these techniques as a new way to suppress essential trauma releases, rather than allowing the body to process and heal naturally.

This is what real healing looks like when it comes to trauma. Culturally, we suppress the organic process of trauma release. Trauma itself is not the issue—the human body is designed to handle trauma. The problem lies in our cultural conditioning to suppress the body’s natural reaction, which is how it releases trauma and restores balance. This means the trauma becomes stored in the body, often leading to physical and mental health issues over time.

It’s crucial to ensure that regulation techniques are not used as another way to suppress trauma, thereby preventing the body from completing its natural healing process and restoring its inherent health.

Supporting someone through trauma release can be challenging and, at times, frightening. Ideally, this process should be facilitated by a trained professional, at least until the individual feels confident and safe to support this themselves.

Trauma release may involve shaking, crying, or hyperventilating, and can appear volatile. If your child is experiencing this at home, it’s essential to create a safe and supportive environment and consult a trained professional. Offer verbal reassurance, such as “It’s okay, I’m here,” and maintaining relational contact with them is really important as this allows and internal sense of safety to develop. Allow them to go through the process if it's safe to do so. Once they have started to calm, you can then introduce gentle regulation techniques, like breathing exercises or self-soothing strategies.

I wanted to share this perspective because, in a culture that often emphasises emotional regulation over supporting emotional or trauma release, it’s important to recognise that relying solely on regulation techniques might inadvertently perpetuate distress in the long term. If a child or adult cannot complete the process of releasing trauma, they remain stuck in it, leading to a cycle of firefighting and keeping the trauma trapped in the nervous system.

It is truly healthy to allow trauma to move through the body in a safe environment. Ideally, this process would take place in a therapeutic setting, but if it arises at home, it’s vital to approach the situation gently and carefully. Follow the advice of a trained professional and seek support from your networks if needed. It can be challenging to manage this for your child or yourself.

Remember, it’s a journey. Seeking help and creating safe spaces for emotional expression can make all the difference.

Katherine Jordan (Ma MBACP)
Founder & Director